新生活 • s h i n s e i k a t s u

I'm gonna cry when my first child is born...

I know it.

Life..as confusing as it is is something really amazing..

And to think that this new life is something you were greatly apart of.

Your offspring...

This is me. this is 'us.' Together.

...

I'm going to cry.

LOVE w o r k .

So.

For the past few weeks (to a month ish,) I've been browsin around, wasting time like I'm so good at doing..

And I'm seeing so many inspiring things. A group of artists working together to put up shows, using what God gave them to spread love in the cracks and corners overlooked in this world. Sooo many organizations contributing greatly to communities getting people involved in a simple way. Designers working humbly to give God glory..

I get so inspired seeing these things. I get so many ambitions and ideas..I want to use what I have for a good purpose. I want to use my art to show God's love around the world.

I want to describe the feeling I have in me right now but all I can express is "omg." It's such an intense feeling. I want to do something NOW.

I just pray that God lets this passion in me grow and be used in an awsome way.

period 4 scribble [2]

It's weird how much certain things can influence feelings..

Feelings..the things that are supposedely what we're to be following are giving into peer pressure.

Thoughts, truth, wisdon, discerment, desires, feelings.

Can it all be fit into one idea?


できるかな。。。

period 4 scribble [1]

The Rain.
Where am I?
I'm not with you.
What should I think? How should I feel?
I know not much about the situation..
But let that have no importance.
The knowledge may not be for me at the moment
What I do know is where I want to be..

lead me to what You bring..

let me be with you.

lead me to the rain.

問題 • m o n d a i

100 percent divided by two.


You get two 100 percents.



..

Yeah...that doesn't work.

感情 • k a n j y o u [short ver.]

Slip. Into the ocean.

A deep splash. Looking up at hope. It's just out of my reach. Come here, you. Swim towards the light. What an attempt...what a way to break an attempt. Thrown deeper into the darkness by something unseen and unexpeected. A struggle. Tossing and turning trying to distinguish top from bottom. Swim with all you've got. Which direction? Just swim. Gotta get out. Another blow. Pounded from all directions. Getting thrown further and further away from hope. Come back...

No breath, no life. Where am I? This water is as intense as ever. There's a storm above. Effecting the ocean below, sending me everywhere but where I need to be. I need help. Flipping in every direction, gasping for air, intense pressure on my body, on my lungs, on my mind. Still being blasted over and over again.

It calms down. I'm stationary. Hope is lost..I can't see it anymore. But this..what..light? Light! This light...feels so warm..stay. No. Darkness takes its place once again.

One solid crack and I'm up against the ground. I can't move. Can't feel my legs..cant feel my arms..can't feel my heart....I wish I couldn't feel pain. Demo, mada aru. I lay on the ocean floor. Numb and fatigued as I've ever been. Get me out already....no. I give up. All I can do is lay here. I can't see the light anymore. I can't feel what I wish for anymore. Hope left.




I sit.



I die.






I open my eyes. What? The floor is gone. I still can't feel....wait. I'm floating? I'm rising up. The intense blows have weakend. Maybe I'm just still numb. ...Either way I'm floating. To the top..

I'm coming. Waves, calm yourselves. I'm making my way up. Slowly..but surely. I'll be on top.

感情 • k a n j y o u

The ocean.

Looks interesting enough.

Nice blue waves..fish..etc.

Take a look.

One false step. Gasp. A plunge into the deep water.

Where am I?

I look up, see the surface of the water. Just a little accident. I'll be up in no time.

Wait, this is kind of hard. What's going on?

I look up, the surface is a bit further than the last time, it seems, I'm falling in deeper.

Something to be worried about. My body feels fatigued. I'm about 20 feet under. It's getting darker.

K, calm down, things are fine. Let me just make my way up to the top. K, I'm going up. Surface is getting closer. I can see the sun shining from the other side.

Almost there.

Take a look to my left. whatsthat?itscomingfastSWEEP

I got knocked away. I'm spinning around, which way do I swim? I'm running out of breath.

I feel heavier. I'm far down.

d a m e.

k, stop spinning, stop spinning. K. what just happened? I can barely see the top anymore..

..the light is dim. my breath. no, just go. I push my hardest to get back to the top. FWOOSH.

I just got knocked around again. Are you kidding me? Shoot.

Ah! Again. What is this? NO. Swim back to the top. I don't know which way the top is. Just swim. Swim.

ERGH! I'm getting beat up down here. What happened?

I just tripped and fell into the water and now I'm getting attacked by who the heck knows what.

I still see the surface. I can see the light blue color near the top.

PACK!





Well there goes everything. I've been knocked down too far......somehow I can tell on the surface theres a storm. Strong winds, my boat on top is being knocked around just about as much as I am.

But I'm near the bottom of the ocean now. Maybe. I guess. Breath....what breath? Right now, there's no such thing. It's as dark as dark has ever been.

Swimming in any direction seems pointless now. Hah! Swimming. Who can even think of such a thing right now. I can't swim. I'm stuck. Floating to the bottom of the ocean, if I'm not there already.







sinking.






....what.



no. freak you have to be kidding.


Ah jeez. Hit again. Blow after blow coming from every direction. What is this? I'm screwed already. Help me.




Hope. Dangles on a string? no......Hope. Right now that's something that I want to hold on to but wth. Where's hope when you're being pounded by these intense freaking...well, when your being pounded intensely.


Struggling for air, struggling for life. I can't see you. miemasen desu yo.

I can't see crap. But HOPE. FREAK! HOPE! Where did you go.

...


Ok. Well I'm still down here. How am I even alive?

The blows..have stopped..for now? Freak, how could there even be more. So I'm just here..wherever here is, hoping I somehow get pulled out.

Oh my gosh....no wait..what is that? Is that light? I see light. Ohh my gosh that light. It feels so...ah jeez. That's the most comforting thing I've felt in a long time.

Wait no........don't..go.

..it's dark.

kurai da.

Maybe I'm supposed to have seen something? I must have seen it by now.....now please get me out?

ACK

Ah! What is this? This. oh man. I don't even know what's going on. I've been smacked so hard and now I know I'm at the bottom of the ocean....I've just been slammed into it.

But freak. I'm just numb right now. I didn't know I could go this far and live. I'm alive. ....why?...how? I should be sitting in my boat, awaiting the arrival to the other side. But I'm sitting at the bottom of the ocean...rather, laying..I can't move.

..

I've become numb.

So I'll just sit here. I'll just sit. Forever? Freak, I don't know. I'm so numb to everything right now. Can't feel pain..can't be happy? what? I'm in so much pain my body is getting used to it..I don't think this can possibly get worse.


stuck.





I die.






















open my eyes.


I'm floating.


Don't feel the ocean floor.

Gasp. another one, coming straight for me. I brace myself.


..I'm ok. I didn't get knocked like before...it hurt a bit but......hey wait. I'm floating. Upwards.



I'm....moving up..



The storm above is calming. My boat is becoming a bit more steady..so is the sea.

I can barely feel anything. Numb again..? Maybe better though.

I still can barely move. But these blows don't kill me like they used to.













The hits are less. I see life again.










I don't know how...but I'm moving up. I'm slowly making my way up.

Ocean, calm yourself. I'm coming. Slowly but surely.

I'll be on top soon.


Just wait.




I'll be on top.