Life?

So, I'm sitting in my ICS class right now. We finished the "projects" we were working on and have extra time. I just decided to write something. Because writing is good. Most of the time.

Life has been interesting lately. Things have been changing. I've been changing. Getting out of high school and just thinking about my life as it is right now has made me really confused. Not the kind of confusion that can be solved with a simple equation and an answer. But something a bit more complex than that. Like, a rolled-up rug with a bunch of unknown items jumbled inside that needs to just be laid out flat so all the objects can be sorted through and figured out.

I have so many questions..questions about life. About MY life. About myself. About others. About myself and others.

Feels like the world is keeping something from me. Like it's hiding essential parts of life from me so that I won't be able to function correctly. So that I'll always have a fault in my steps.

Where am I going?

Though on the other hand, parts of me seem to be doing well. I'm learning a lot. Realizing a lot. Growing in ways that I've longed to for a long time.

But it feels incomplete. Feels like it's missing.

Maybe it's like this..

This morning..no wait. Last night I went to Burger King with Dustin. I got iced tea, thinking that it would be sweetened..like it always is. And yeah, it wasn't.

I wound up not drinking too much of it and took it home with me to save for when I felt like putting sugar in it. So this morning I woke up with a not so pleasant taste in my mouth. (Has anyone read Bee-Season? hahahaha) So I got out the iced tea.

Drinking it made me think. Okay, this is..unsweetened tea. It's strange because..it totally tastes like tea. Like, totally. But there's something missing. something that somehow isn't right. Something's missing. It still has that..'ness' that makes it tea but something's not..right.

Sugar is what it's missing. But what is sugar that makes it so different?

I'm thinking perhaps that's how I am right now. I'm not just a cup of water any more..I've become tea. There's definitely a difference between water and tea; between then and now. And this tea is so wonderful. But after being tea for a while I feel like something is missing. And you'd think that the tea part is what you would be missing but it's totally there. So then what's up?

I wonder.


Anyway.

I need to be a more organized person. Just, in the things I do daily. I want to make sure I make time to do everything I need to do and want to do. I don't want to waste time anymore. I've gotten too skillful in that. I'm thinking of starting to study with people. Like..shoot I don't know.

MY LIFE IS TOO DANG BORING RIGHT NOW! >:|


dang is a weird word.